


Enemy Mine

by EventHorizon



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Underpants, mystrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:51:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2108838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EventHorizon/pseuds/EventHorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft discovers Lestrade's new purchase and is not happy with it.  Not one tiny bit...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enemy Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Another of my little [tumblr fics](http://eventhorizon451.tumblr.com) I'm bringing over, this one written for Red Pants Monday...

      “Gregory?  Can you offer an explanation for this?”

      “Hmmm… oh!  Picked that up yesterday, thought I’d try something new.  Supposed to be comfortable.”

      “If the level of comfort is inversely correlated with the amount of material used in the construction, then these should be the most comfortable undergarments ever manufactured.”

      “Great, isn’t it?”

      “Gregory, this is a string and a tea napkin.”

      “It’s a sexy string and tea napkin, though.”

      “And it is red.”

      “I think it’s actually Sultry Cerise.”

      “Oh, dear heavens…”

      “Come on, Mycroft, what’s the problem?  it’s not like you’re the one that’s wearing it.”

      “That is rather the point.”

      “The Sultry Cerise tea napkin must be fuddling your brain because that makes no sense.”

      “Think about this rationally, my dear.”

      “I don’t think rational thinking applies to thongs.”

      “Gregory, you simply cannot wear this.  It is far too… the filamentous portion, consider where it is positioned!”

      “In my bum.”

      “Precisely!  It will thread just between… and directly against… rubbing as you walk…”

      “Mycroft…”

      “And this… _scrap_ of fabric.  It does not drape.  It cups.  _Fondles_ even.  With every step you take.  And what if you have to bend over?  Forward or backward!”

      “Love, you’re going as red as my fancy pants.”

      “It is intolerable and I will not have it!”

      “Oh my god, you’re jealous of my thong.”

      “I am not jealous!  It is simply… it has no right!”

      “Because those bits are only yours to play with.”

      “Exactly!  And no interloper shall intrude on my rightful territory if I have any say in the matter.”

      “You’ve gone loony.”

      “You do not understand basic tactics, Gregory.  With the first successful incursion, the enemy has disadvantaged you and I shall not suffer the shame of receiving the first strike.“

      “Mycroft… here, have a seat.  Right here next to me.  No… calm down, take a few breaths… good.  Very good.  Now, listen to me.  You know I love you, right?  So here’s what I’m going to do.  I’ll take my Sultry Cerise thong and put it to the match if it makes you happy.  I don’t want you thinking for one moment that anyone or any thong is going to be doing naughty things to my nethers except you.  Will that make you feel better?”

      “I believe that will be sufficient.”

      “Ok… glad we got that sorted.  And I’ll do it right now so we can put this all behind us.”

      “Now?”

      “Well… yes.  Frankly, Mycroft, I’m beginning to worry about your blood pressure.”

      “Ah, of course.  And I do apologize for my outburst.  Silly of me, I suppose.”

      “No!  Not at all, love… not at all.  In fact it’s rather flattering.  In a loony sort of way.”

      “And it truly does not bother you that the garment interacts with the body in such an intimate and provocative manner?”

      “Honestly, that really didn’t cross my mind.”

      “Oh… good.  Then you won’t mind if I try it on.”


End file.
